Well, this certainly is not going to be what you think it should be about. All I have to say is, why are the last 10 pounds you want to lose always the most challenging! Be prepared, this week is all about trying to stay healthy – if you aren’t a healthy person or have no desire to be one, then you probably want to take a nice little vacation from reading my blog, but really, don’t do that, it would be so sad if you left as a reader. Who knows, you might find my struggles hilarious, I know I like to laugh at myself most days, and here is why.
I fit comfortably into a size six pants and a size four dress. I wear small or extra small shirts. If you follow me on Instagram, you also know I can fit into kids clothes (no shame in my clothing game). I pretty much can eat what I want, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I have no desire to eat fast food, and my sweet tooth comes and goes. Wine on the other hand, that is the one thing I will NEVER give up, but I don’t have to. Why am I being a total show off right now? Because for whatever reason my brain keeps telling me that I need to drop 10 pounds! I don’t like my brain all the time, but I have to deal with the one I was given, so I work to try and get that scale to move and it just won’t. Oh, there I said it, I look at the scale and it for whatever reason makes me feel like that is my worth in the world. If it goes up a pound or two, my poor husband has to suffer with kale salads and boiled chicken breast. Poor guy, someone just make him a cheeseburger already.In all seriousness, I started taking the time over the last two weeks to really try and grab hold of why I care what the scale says. I have always searched out women to have in my circle who are all different shapes and sizes because it helps me to realize that everyone is different. However, and this is a big however, five years ago when we moved to Charlotte it was like we moved to the Beverly Hills of the east coast. You think I am joking, no jokes here. These women are perfect southern belles. They pop babies out and go right back to a size two, I have two glasses of wine, and suddenly I can’t button my pants the next day.
I was raised by some amazing women who never put as much energy into working out and being healthy as I do and still they are happy. That is when it hit me. When we were home visiting our families for Memorial Day weekend I made a comment to my momma about how I had totally cleaned out my closet and how nothing fit right. The good man above decided to bless me with a big old butt and thighs and thanks to my momma and my grandmother those two things will never go away, it is in the family genes, those good, solid, German genes. When I said this to my momma, my dad was close by, and he just smiled. He smiled because he loves my momma just the way she is and when I looked at my husband, I realized he too loves me just the way I am. He doesn’t care what my jean size is, as long as my big old butt doesn’t vanish, even though I would like it to shrink down a bit so I can not feel like a crazy person when I have to go up a size in jeans.
Which leads me to my final observation, point, rant, whatever you want to call it. Why, oh why, do clothing companies insist on making life torture for the girl who has a butt and thighs. I, like so many other women, have a variety of sizes in my closet. I just bought the most amazing jeans from VICI, and they are a size 9 and fit like a glove. A 9 PEOPLE! I have had zero children, my weight doesn’t go above 140 pounds, I work out like a crazy person at least five days a week, and all I drink is water and wine – isn’t that what Jesus wanted us to drink? So, why is it that because I just bought a pair of jeans that are a 9, I suddenly feel that I need to get to 130 pounds? We all know the first weight you lose is not from your butt and thighs. Oh no, it comes from up top, something I am already lacking. I just wish that more women would be open with their imperfections. We don’t all have to be that perfect size two with zero butt and walk around in our Lululemon pants. Some of us, as much as we try, just are not built to be teeny tiny.At this point, you are probably wondering, what is so Mmm Mmm Good about this on a Monday? It is this, if nothing else – stop trying to be perfect, stop trying to think you have to be a size or person that you are not meant to be. Stop constantly trying to make people think they have to be working out, they have to be eating Whole30, they have to cut out sugar and carbs and the good things in life and for once, just enjoy life. Most of this rant was sparked because I also tried on bathing suits this week. I found one I am in love with but quickly realized that I became a mom without being a mom, I bought a one piece because in my mind I don’t think I have the perfect body to wear a bikini at the pool this summer, when, I know that I probably do. I may be ordering just one more suit to have on hand, and this one may be a two piece. You know what, I have stretch marks just like the rest of the world, I sometimes have a bloated belly when I have an excellent meal or drink some delicious wine, and the good man above gave me a big butt, big thighs, and a tiny torso, but I am learning to try and be okay with how I am, because the only person who matters is my husband and he seems to enjoy what he signed on for 12 years ago.
Cheers to a wonderful week y’all, enjoying the sunshine and summer vacation and let’s all just flaunt those imperfections by the pool this year!